Romance/Friendship fraud: what it is and how to protect yourself

This is a very underreported crime, and many victims blame themselves afterwards. In reality, these scams are often highly sophisticated and carefully targeted, so they can affect anyone.

How the scam usually starts

It often begins with a match on a dating site or a friend request on social media. The photos used may be stolen from real people, but criminals are increasingly using Artificial Intelligence (AI) to create fake images, audio, and even video that can appear convincing.

Fraudsters often build credibility with a detailed backstory. They may claim to work in the armed forces, on an oil rig, or for a charity overseas, creating an excuse for why they cannot speak on the phone or meet in person and can only communicate by text or email.

One of the first things a romance scammer may do is try to move the conversation away from the original site or app. This allows them to keep messaging even if their profile is reported or removed. Many scammers contact several people at once.

Common warning signs

Some scammers may even offer to send identification documents such as a driving licence or passport. These documents may be forged or stolen, so they should not be taken as proof that someone is genuine.

Be cautious of intense declarations of love very early on, or signs that the person quickly becomes emotionally dependent on you. These are common manipulation tactics. If you question the speed of the relationship, they may act deeply hurt to make you feel guilty.

Once trust has been built, the scammer will usually begin asking for money. At first, the requests may be subtle. In some cases, victims are manipulated so effectively that they believe they are helping a genuine partner and offer money willingly.

Requests for money can take many forms, including flight costs to visit you, visa fees, emergency medical bills, or short-term cash flow problems. To make these stories seem believable, scammers may provide fake supporting documents such as contracts, tickets, bank statements, or payment demands. The scammer may also introduce an ‘investment opportunity’ and encourage you to open an investment or cryptocurrency account with the promise of high returns.

The scammer will continue asking for money for as long as payments continue. Some victims are exploited for months. Personal details can also be used for identity theft, and sensitive information may be used for blackmail. Malicious links or attachments may be sent in an attempt to steal bank details or other personal information.

How to protect yourself 

• Never share personal details to someone you do not know.
• Never send money to someone you have only met online.
• Be cautious if a new contact repeatedly avoids phone or video calls, or refuses to meet in person when appropriate.
• Reverse image search any photos sent by a new social media or dating site contact, for example by using a search engine image search.
• Be aware of the possible use of Artificial Intelligence in these scams. Pay attention to anything in audio or video that looks or sounds unusual.
• Trust your instincts.
• Requests for payment by gift card, cryptocurrency, or money transfer service are always a warning sign.
• Carry out your own checks independently, and ask trusted friends or family for advice.
• Do not tell a suspected scammer what gave them away.
• If you have sent money or shared financial information, contact your bank immediately and stop all contact.
• Report to Report Fraud or Police Scotland (if you are in Scotland) and the platform of contact.

If you think you may be dealing with a romance/friendship scammer, stop responding, do not send any more money, and seek support as soon as possible. Acting quickly can help reduce further financial loss and protect your personal information.